The Giving Tree

A popular children’s story begins, “Once there was a tree and she loved a little boy.”  When I first read The Giving Tree by Shel Silverstein, I didn’t understand its wide appeal.  I thought it was an awful story about a self-centered child and a tree who couldn’t say ‘no.’  I thought that the story might as well have been titled The Taking Boy.  The tree gave without restraint, and without any expectation that the boy give back in return.  She gave until there was no more to give.  The boy initially loved the tree as a child might love his mother.  But as he grew, the tree became his object to use and exploit.  She freely gave, and he selfishly took her fruit, her branches and even her trunk.  He wasn’t concerned for the tree’s well-being.  He visited her only to ask for more.  He never said thank you.  He didn’t call on weekends.  He never brought his family over to visit.  Had the tree ever said no to the boy’s request, I believe that the boy would have left and never come back.

Over the years, as I’ve reread The Giving Tree, I’ve come to believe that there is a great deal of subtlety to the story, subtlety that I did not originally recognize.  If the story is heard as a charming parable of loving and giving, then I believe that the meaning is missed.  If it was intended as a children’s story, it is a children’s story without a happy ending.  The illustrations in the book are telling.  The pictures are sparse, lines drawn in black and white.  The little boy becomes an unhappy, withered and worn out old man.  The tree is reduced to nothing more than a stump to sit upon; nothing left to give, nothing left to offer to a new generation.

The Giving Tree is a classic best-selling children’s book.  What is its appeal?  Perhaps, each of us has wished at some time or another for a giving tree, a source that gives without end and that asks nothing of us in return.  The brilliance of the story is that it does not romanticize this fantasy.  Instead, Silverstein shows us the ultimate emptiness of mindless indulgence.  Some wishes are best left not granted.  Sometimes it is important for parents to set limits, for children to hear, “Enough!”  The story is as much for parents as it is for children. Who among us as parents wants to raise a taking child?