Role-playing

“All the world’s a stage, And all the men and women merely players.” (from Shakespeare’s As You Like It, Act II, Scene VII)

In our lives we must play many roles.  The roles we play are often particular to the society in which we live, the religion in which we grow, and the families into whom we are born. We play our roles in order to navigate life smoothly and successfully.

At a young age, we are taught the script of the well-behaved child. A few years later we learn the script that directs our role as student.  During these same school years, we learn the complex and nuanced scripts that govern social interactions. Then comes adolescence, when trying out a variety of new roles and new scripts is the norm.

In my lifetime I’ve played many roles. Is it pejorative to label myself an actor and a player of roles? Yet, what are we if we are not enacting a role?

I once played the role of physician.  I went to medical school and studied for the part. I followed a script that defined professionalism, and that codified ethical practices. Furthermore, my script demanded I follow a plethora of regulatory rules and laws.  I didn’t like or agree with all of the rules, but I learned my role, applied my knowledge, and followed the script. Along my professional journey, I had role-models who showed me how the role could and should be played.  As I matured in my role as physician, I tried to be a role-model for others. I played the part to the best of my ability. I was playing a role, but never acting contrary to my beliefs, principles, or good judgment.

When does role-playing cease? As a child, I attended Sunday school where I was taught the rules and scripts of my religion. I was taught the words to the prayers, and I dutifully recited them.  Yet, there is a vast difference between enacting the role of pray-er, and authentic prayer. There is a vast difference between following the scripts and rules of religion, and authentic belief.

Thinking about role-playing has led me back to theologian/philosopher Martin Buber.  Role-playing occurs in the realm of what Buber called the I/it. I/it describes interactions that characterize the preponderance of our day-to-day encounters. We walk into a store.  We are greeted by a friendly clerk.  We exchange some friendly words in response.  We say ‘please’ on cue and ‘thank-you’ on cue and our scripts smooth the interaction. We leave the store, mission completed.  Our pleasant interaction was not about authentic relationship, rather it was functional.

Buber said the alternative to I/it is I/Thou. I/Thou is characterized by full presence when encountering the other, be that other a person or God.  There is no script and no secondary agenda. I/Thou happens in the moment, it is authentic, and it is only about the relationship.

Perhaps I/Thou and role-playing can occur simultaneously.  A teacher, fully present in an encounter with a student, remains a teacher.  A doctor, fully present in an encounter with a patient, remains a doctor. With immersion in authentic prayer, one still remains a pray-er.

I/Thou is authenticity superimposed on the roles we otherwise must play.