Tuesday, April 28, 2020

It's Fantastic


In this time of fantastic news stories and press conferences, I often think about a joke I heard in Junior High.  It’s a useful joke.  Comes in handy on many occasions.  It’s a joke I’ve told my kids.  Over the years, it’s become a family inside-joke.  I now share it with you.

(Imagine, if you will, two little old ladies talking on a park bench.  For good measure, add in a bit of a Yiddish accent.}

B:  “So Myrtle, what’s new?”

M:  “Bessie, you just won’t believe it.  Remember my son Gerald?  He’s a genius.  Just got into an Ivy League school.  Someday he’ll win the Nobel Prize.”

B:  “That’s FAAN’-tastic.”

M:  “And my husband Lou, he loves me more and more each day.  Showers me with presents, furs and diamonds.  Wants to take me on a trip around the world.”

B:  “That’s FAAN’-tastic.”

M:  “As for me, I’ve lost twenty pounds and am going to have plastic surgery that will make me look thirty years younger.”

B:  “That’s FAAN’-tastic.”

M:  “So, nuh Bessie?  Tell me what you’ve been up to.”

B:  “Well Myrtle, I’ve been going to charm school.”

M:  “Really?  And what are you learning in charm school?”

B:  “I’m learning how to say FAAN’-tastic . . .  instead of bullshit.”

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