We are challenged by contradictions; contradictory opinions, contradictory beliefs, contradictory
perspectives, even contradictory ‘truths’.
The most
common response when faced with contradiction is to declare your position right and the other's position wrong, of course. You know your are right. Experience tells you so. Accompanying
this response, there is usually little self-reflection, little curiosity, only
argumentation. Being understood might seem important, but understanding the other does not. Often an escalation occurs and contradiction morphs into conflict. Sanctimony and outrage replace dialogue. End of discussion.
When faced with contradiction, the challenge is to enter into constructive dialogue, and for that time to suspend criticism while listening open-mindedly to the perspective of the other. Dialogue does not include accusation and condemnation. Dialogue does not include threats and ultimatums
Dialogue is less about talking and more about listening, really listening. In the course of dialogue you need not agree, but you can acknowledge the viewpoint of the other. Contradiction may not resolve, but contradiction need not lead to conflict.
In philosophy, there is a concept called ‘pluralism’. Pluralism emphasizes that we exist in an extraordinarily complex world, too complex to be grasped through a simple and single lens. Often, contradiction is nothing more than a different perspective, the world viewed through a different lens. In this complex pluralistic world, contradictions should be approached with tolerance and humility, not in the spirit of argumentation, but in the effort to learn and share from the perspective, the lens, of the other.
In philosophy, there is a concept called ‘the dialectical principle’. Sometimes, if one is willing to examine seemingly contradictory perspectives there emerges, in lieu of contradiction, a new and more nuanced understanding, a meeting of the minds, a synthesis of ideas.
When faced with contradiction, the challenge is to enter into constructive dialogue, and for that time to suspend criticism while listening open-mindedly to the perspective of the other. Dialogue does not include accusation and condemnation. Dialogue does not include threats and ultimatums
Dialogue is less about talking and more about listening, really listening. In the course of dialogue you need not agree, but you can acknowledge the viewpoint of the other. Contradiction may not resolve, but contradiction need not lead to conflict.
In philosophy, there is a concept called ‘pluralism’. Pluralism emphasizes that we exist in an extraordinarily complex world, too complex to be grasped through a simple and single lens. Often, contradiction is nothing more than a different perspective, the world viewed through a different lens. In this complex pluralistic world, contradictions should be approached with tolerance and humility, not in the spirit of argumentation, but in the effort to learn and share from the perspective, the lens, of the other.
In philosophy, there is a concept called ‘the dialectical principle’. Sometimes, if one is willing to examine seemingly contradictory perspectives there emerges, in lieu of contradiction, a new and more nuanced understanding, a meeting of the minds, a synthesis of ideas.
Relationships are
filled with contradiction. The world is filled with contradiction. And that’s okay.
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