Connect Four

In an otherwise high-tech world, the most important piece of equipment in my office was a $10 game of Connect Four.  For over thirty years, I used that game to help with diagnosis and with therapy. 

For those who may not be familiar with the game, Connect Four is played on a grid, 6 slots vertically and 7 slots horizontally.  By taking turns dropping checkers into one of the slots, the goal is to get four in-a-row, much like tic-tac-toe.  What makes it an ideal game for office use is that the rules are simple, the set-up is easy, it appeals to a wide age range, and the game can be played, completed and repeated in a few minutes. 

Children of all ages enjoy the game. Even before children are old enough to understand rules, they love to dump out the checkers and watch them scatter. Children, a bit older, and able to tolerate a modicum of delayed gratification, learn to replace the checkers in order to dump them once again.  At yet another stage, children not only replace the checkers, but do so in patterns such as stripes or alternating patterns.  Now that they’ve entered in to this cognitive world of planning and patterning, they seem to derive more pleasure from what they have created than from the act of dumping. 

School age children, approximately ages 6 through 8, are ready to take a major developmental step forward and learn the rules of the game.  For some children, especially those who are very oppositional, this may be the first time that rules are heard not as restrictions, but in a positive context.  Rules make the game possible. Without rules, there is no game. 

With the game, there are social lessons.  How to follow rules.  How to take turns.  How to be patient when it is not your turn.  How to be gracious in winning and gracious in losing.  If a child broke the rules, cheated, I didn’t get angry or berating.  It was a learning opportunity.  “Okay,” I said.  “You can do that with me, but how would you feel if I did that?” or “How would you feel if a friend did that when you were playing?”  “How would a friend feel if you did that with them?  Would they still want to be your friend?” 

With the game, there are cognitive lessons.  How to slow down and to look at options.  How to use words to assess the choices.  How to discern better and worse decisions. How to predict better and worse results.  If a bad move was made, I didn’t pounce upon my patient in victory, “Aha, now I got you!”  I would say something like, “Look carefully at your move.  Why is that not a good move?”  “If you go there, where am I likely to go?”  “What would be a better move?” Then I allowed them a do-over.  As we played, I observed if they learned from past mistakes.  I asked them to put into words their strategy.  Eventually, I asked them not only to articulate their strategy, but could they figure out mine. 

A coach is a motivator and a teacher. When I played games in the office my role was to coach. The goal was never about becoming an expert at Connect Four. The goal was to give children experience and practice in social engagement, decision making, slowing down, paying attention, using words to assess, making good choices and considering consequences.  Through this and many other board games, and with a bit of coaching assistance, children can acquire social and cognitive skills, important for their future success.